1) Drive my enemies before me
2) Look into buying a van for this purpose
3) 2nd hand is ok, these are my enemies after all
4) No AC!
5) No, they may not choose the music.  Fuckers

Driving enemies
Their women’s lament rings loud
It’s too hot back there

1) Genetically engineer camels… without any humps whatsoever!!!
2) Use my new non-humped caels to stealthily infiltrate other days of the week
3) Despite having no humps, the caels shall still have the camel’s instinct…
4) The caels will wreak havoc on the days, bringing forth the weekend
5) Alas, the first generation of caels shall be the last, as they never hump

1)  Drive until sunset, then drive until sunrise
2) … may have to stop for gas…
3) … and to use the little boy’s room…
4) … and maybe eat dinner…
5) … and sleep… maybe this should be a multi-day existential angst trip…

1) Go in search of the fabled Loch Ness Camel
2) Ignore international law and popular opinion, and go hunting for whalebacked camels (so I can harvest them for their sweet, sweet, camelsap)
3) Make camelsyrup
4) Make an Engelbart Cameldinck playlist
5) Offer a gold coin to the first man who spies the white camel… For I shall have my vengeance!!!

1) Start encrypting my conversations with everyone
2) This includes face to face conversations
3) Destroy the keys afterwards
4) Nuke the other party from orbit (It’s the only way to be sure)
5) Try and find someone else to talk to… I’m so lonely… *sniff*

1) Identify the source of evil in the world
2) Ascertain its weaknesses
3) Train in all manners of combat and rhetoric that are effective against said weaknesses
4) Defeat the evil
5) Take its throne for my own (no one will see it coming!)

1) Develop exoskeleton legs for improved cycling duration
2) Any military applications for said exeskeleton systems is entirely incidental…
3) I really didn’t realize the laser rangefinder on the system was powerful enough to burn through tank armor
4) This money? Oh, investments, entirely unrelated to the recent bank robbery by some crazed individual who is wearing pants that look surprisingly similar to the exoskeleton prototypes
5) I’m not fooling you? Ah, you’re too clever for me by half. Which is why I have the aforesaid laser


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