1) Go in search of the fabled Loch Ness Camel
2) Ignore international law and popular opinion, and go hunting for whalebacked camels (so I can harvest them for their sweet, sweet, camelsap)
3) Make camelsyrup
4) Make an Engelbart Cameldinck playlist
5) Offer a gold coin to the first man who spies the white camel… For I shall have my vengeance!!!

1) Start encrypting my conversations with everyone
2) This includes face to face conversations
3) Destroy the keys afterwards
4) Nuke the other party from orbit (It’s the only way to be sure)
5) Try and find someone else to talk to… I’m so lonely… *sniff*

1) Identify the source of evil in the world
2) Ascertain its weaknesses
3) Train in all manners of combat and rhetoric that are effective against said weaknesses
4) Defeat the evil
5) Take its throne for my own (no one will see it coming!)

1) Develop exoskeleton legs for improved cycling duration
2) Any military applications for said exeskeleton systems is entirely incidental…
3) I really didn’t realize the laser rangefinder on the system was powerful enough to burn through tank armor
4) This money? Oh, investments, entirely unrelated to the recent bank robbery by some crazed individual who is wearing pants that look surprisingly similar to the exoskeleton prototypes
5) I’m not fooling you? Ah, you’re too clever for me by half. Which is why I have the aforesaid laser

1) Post graphic photos of my birth for #ThrowbackThursday
2) Followed by graphic photos of my son’s birth for #tbt
3) … and various pictures of scrapes, cuts, and scarring from various injuries over the years
4) Round it off with a random instagram of a meal I ate last week
5) And then a haiku, because I’m throwing back to #haikuthursday

Bringing sexy back
It’s no longer Timberlake’s
And now a haiku

1) Que up some Engelbart Humperdinck
2) Rewatch the “Miracle Max” scene from The Princess Bride
3) Rewatch the Igor scenes from Young Frankenstein
4) Put humped things in a bell curve
5) Create a chart showing the frequency of humped things in a bell curve

1) Relax, confident in the knowledge that I have participated in the Democratic Process
2) Look forward to the next DP… wait…
3) Google “DP”
4) Turn head sideways in a comical “trying to figure it out” fashion
5) Slam laptop lid closed when the wench asks me what I’m looking at

Note: Nick Hast To Do and it’s authors, editors, subsidiaries, dance partners, employers, employees, officemates, college buddies, ex-girlfriends, ex-wives, parents, children, relatives, roommates, or person they sat next to on mass transit this morning are not responsible for any loss of employment, divorce, grounding, headsmacks, or embarrassing moments resulting from googling the search term “DP”.

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