1) Get caffeine IV
2) Hook into vein
3) Get Shit Done
4) Finish days work in 24 minutes
5) Go mountain unicycle

1) SureptiosulySurreptiousSneakily move a humpback whale into Notre Dame
2) Replace all the horses at the Kentucky Derby with camels
3) Replace all Camels with beef jerky
4) Write more dromedary-based puns before The Wench kicks me out
5) Alpaca my bags…

1) Turn my massive unicycling legs to my advantage as a super villain
2) When escaping the authorities, use them to accelerate and walk quickly
3) When fighting super heroes, use them to run away quickly
4) Come to the realization that they are really not that useful for a life of crime
5) See if they’ll work any better if I become a priest… Is there a church for atheists? Not the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, I look terrible in a colander…

1) Automate alarm clock to match The Wench’s work schedule
2) Automate alarm clock to match days I need to bring muni equipment in to the office
3) Automate alarm clock to match cat feeding schedule (just set to ring at 5min intervals
4) Automate alarm clock to match my feeding schedule (just set to ring at 4hr intervals
5) Automate alarm clock to match my taking over the world schedule (approx 8pm, nightly)

1) Develop hard epoxy treatment for teeth that renders them impervious to plaque. NEVER SEE THE DENTIST AGAIN!!!
2) Develop a pirate hat that renders the wearer impervious to walking the plank. NEVER GET MAROONED AGAIN!!!
3) Develop a Google Glass app that gives you a real-time view of 30 seconds in the future, so you see an impending prank. NEVER GET CAUGHT ON APRIL 1ST AGAIN!!!
4) Develop a fridge that automatically disposes of food when it goes rank. NEVER TAKE A SWIG OF SPOILED MILK AGAIN!!!
5) Develop an airbag system that pops you to the surface in case your ship sank. NEVER GET EATEN BY SHARKS AGAIN!!!

1) Hydrate
2) Drink water
3) Imbibe fluids
4) Consume liquids
5) Urinate. A lot

Reminder for you!
Stay hydrated, drink water
Otherwise it’s gross

1) Steal Acquire camels, humpbacks, and llamas
2) Put hats on all of them
3) Arrange for a fashion show to display the animalian hats
4) Might run into a problem with the humpbacks being unable to walk/slide down the runway…
5) Install runway tank for the humpbacks to use, develop SCUBA systems for the camels & llamas


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