1) Find where Humpty Dumpty is sitting on a wall
2) Tell him to stop loitering loitering
3) Pepper Spray him when he tries to punch you
4) Wait for him to fall over as he stumbles around blind
5) Add salt & cheese, fry up in a skillet

1) Develop time travel device for getting Mynock to school on time
2) Use same device to fulfill more social obligations while having plenty of reading/gaming/movie times
3) Use for sports bets, a la BTTF2
4) Kill Hitler
5) See if I still have the energy to go to work

1) Bewares the Ides of September…
2) Set up infrared camera system to prevent Ides from sneaking up on me in the dark
3) Practice shooting moving Ides-shaped targets
4) Steal Acquire Ides-Sniffing Guard Dogs
5) Develop ICBM: Ides-Counteracting Ballistic Missile

1) Install caffeine infuser to shower line, to help get me get going in the morning
2) Add liquid caffeine to milk for morning beverages
3) Start making my own cheese. Infuse with caffeine
4) Bacon. Made from pigs fed on coffee beans
5) See #4. Because bacon is awesome

1) Remember
2) Do not forget
3) Bring the guilty to justice
4) Leave the innocent be
5) Remember

No words can be said
There are no words I can say
So I say nothing

1) Start working on the S.M.A.R.T system (Student-Missile AM Reduction Trebuchet) to get the Mynock to school on time
2) Develop drone to follow me when I muni at night to shine a massive spotlight on the trail, simulating daylight so I can see the fscking rocks
3) Or just buy a headlamp
4) Either way, test the light
5) Extensively… Might have to skip dinners…

1) Win the lottery, donate to Shave Save the Whales
2) Buy my own bus to take me to work
3) Open a Tim Horton’s franchise in it
4) Hand out free coffees and Tim Bits to commuters
5) Bask in their love as the commuting king. “King” I say!!!


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